Twas the day after Chrismtas and all through the house

Toys were spread out from Santa's arrival less then 24 hours old. 3 kiddos refreshed from Long naps after Christmas day..ready for home made beignet's, eggs and (fake) bacon..Christmas Eve was the beginning, where it all truly began... of new and old traditions..from a yummy sushi dinner, to new Pj's for all, to leaving Santa plenty and cookies and cold cold milk. The reindeer were feed carrots on top of the rooftop, as only as Cedar would remark "reindeer's don't land on driveways, only rooftops of course" The kiddos left stockings and read 'twas the night before Christmas' before heading off to bed. I do believe this was the first night that Cedar exclaimed " I cant fall asleep fast enough" And I in my pj's and Pa in his too had begun to settle in with whisky and coke! When at sometime in sleep world Santa did come, he dropped of a Fairy House and stocking stuffers for all..and a cute pink piggy bank for the littlest of all. he snuck in those sweet cookies and off he did go...for we woke a few time to hear little people between 3-6 and finally got up to see if he came...I heard Cedar exclaim" I wasn't always good ....and he still came..bring just what I wanted!!!" Orien wandered where Santa had gone..a bit disappointed eh wouldn't be joining in all the present fun!! A few hours later..the last wrap had been torn..the last ribbon chewed on by Truth..and kiddos played all day with airports, cranes, legos and Fairy houses and people...and Truth quite happy with all her little organic dolls to suck on..we attempted to nap..but bikes needed riding, books needed reading, and energy was just too high..so we dashed out the door where Marys Lake Lodge cooked us wonderful meals of Grilled Ahi Tuna sandwiches, pasta and sundaes for good little boys! ahhhhh a bit more biking riding and off to bed for all! Merry Christmas to all and to all a great new year!!!!!

Too tired to write

isn't that the point
..to clean the house, stash the laundry, and prepare a hot pot of chili, mulled wine and cider and celebrate the Winter Solsitce..
and that is exactly what happened.

...and now I am too tired to write of all the wonderful folks who attended, the warm bonefire, laughter, singing happy birthday to the sun and roasting marshmallows. Feel blessed to have such a wonderful family and communtiy out here in the mountains. Happy Solstice.....may the light shime a bit longer and stronger thoughout the months.

speaking of memories

my sister and I when I was Truths age 6 monts for my first Christmas

Me (mommy ) when I was a new born in May of 78!!

Technically 7 months but happy half birthday Truth

Truth 6 months

Truth hours old!

Yes I am a bit behind but who is counting.

Dear Truth,

Happy half Birthday. You are a joy..in fact your entire existence is full of smiles, laughter, coos, bubble blowing, patience. I am at aw that my little baby girl already looks like a big girl. I just took you to have your 6 month pictures done and can't believe the difference in 6 months. You are no longer the sleepy, dark haired little girl. You Blue eyes fill the room and are irresistible! Your shiny, short red hair is adorable and you have a grin that says it all!! So far in your short 6 months you have grown from 7lbs13oz to a bit over 16lbs. You are able to sit up on you own for hours drooling over toys. You have always loved to be held on your belly and daddy does it best! You think the world of your brother giving them eye contact and chuckles and cuddles every morning. You live to have this funny screech yelp in the car! You are patient..always have been okay waiting. You LOVE snow. You cooed your way through a short walk the other day just watching the snow. You will let anyone hold you and you seems ever so happy!! You have been on a road trip, sat on Santa's lap, hiked riding on mamas back, sledded, witnessed a many birthday parties, been a turtle for Halloween, swam in pools, flown on a plane, played at the beach, traveled in an RV, and been loved by so many family members and friends. Truth you are always a breath of fresh air and I look forward to the million memories to follow!

What is the REAL world?

I had a nice conversation with a friend today..mostly the kind where you catch up on each others lives, tell stories of raising the kiddos, share the rough spots and laugh together at parenting. Then I realized that while we were chattting..of future plans for family, work etc..it seemed we have created a list of reason why not to do something because "it isn't in the real world like that." And now just sitting here by the computer it dawned on me. What the hell is the real world??? Why do I and so many others constantly compare our dreams , ambitions, hopes, fears of life to the "real world" and I finish with dammit it This is the real world. My family is real, our daily choices are real, nature is real, living dreams should be real and let the rest of the world contemplate what fits the real world cause from this day forward I am living the Real world and my kids will see that it truly is REAL.

sweet papas!!

here are Tom and Jody out hanging with there little girls....so sweet arent they!

Skating in a Winter Wonderland!

I cant believe it is already days into December.and visions of sugar plums are definitely dancing in our boys ahead...along with Santa, Elves, trees, darkness to light, stories of Christmas in so many cultures and of course those dream lists and letters already sent to Santa. I cant help but find the Magic in Christmas now having little ones. They truly believe in *MAGIC*little elves, one Joly St. Nick, a sleigh that flies through the night surprising kiddos with there dreams... Now I know this can seem to be a big consumer time..but honestly I still remember so many Christmas filled with family, love, music, cookies, staying up late to watch Rudolf on TV, and of course Santa making my dream comes true. From my Turtle Henry, to those Reebok Dance shoes...I wore till they died..So Yes, though some would say we can do w/o the "stuff".... Teaching moderation, magic, hope, and giving to all seems to be a better balance for our home. We discuss plenty about giving to people in need, donating our clothes, giving at toy/clothing to the needy, and Cedar gets it! He just got yet another pkg in the mail from relatives...and immediately wanted to return the favor saying he wants to send presents to his mimi's and grandpas...so sweet. So while the boys wait, count down with there advent calender, learn about different holiday cultures in school, prepare to have a Solstice Celebration, we are celebrating love and life daily..here's to living..in the present from skating, to sipping hot cocoa, to hayrides.. there is Magic in the air to all willing to see and celebrate....Cheers

First snow is always best

Snowflakes cover our Mountain

I hear the footsteps of little people

Time:6am

I hide under the covers with Truth

Time:7 awake, feed the little boys and begin to hear the

"Can I go outside?"

Temp: 8 degrees

BURRRRR I say..lets wait..

Finally time for naps..realizing we haven't adventured out yet...

I suprise Cedar after he diddle dallys in his room with NO sleep

"get out side, grab your sled"

GRINS...

sleeping baby and toddler

Chains on car...

and bliss for one little guy!

"thanks mom" he just said.....

The first snow is ALWAYS BEST

Rear View Mirror

I was driving..as I do plenty out here in the mountains and I had my millionth look in the rear view mirror moment and it dawned on me..those little people are mine back there...full of grins for the moment, and I was at peace and kind of shocked all at that millionth moment of looking in my rear view mirror....

Patch Bags for Sale from Back in the Day!!

Oh..sewing fever has returned. I just returned from the shed with bins and bins of fabric....and dreams of new clothing..bags...doll clothes etc!!! So here are the patch bags I believe Jody made back in Asheville where we would sell "hippie" stuff on the streets including handmade bags, hemp necklaces, large hula-hoops....Yes while I was in the woods at Work with the Juvies Jody would spend Fridays after 5 at the free music in downtown Asheville...so I am thinking of trying to supplement the family cash with the sewing...if any of you have a specific need holler..or if you want to buy one of these fine bags let me know...how does 10.00 sound????

I did it..I did it!

I have to give myself props that I just finished my first hand made Waldorf Doll!!! And it feeels goooood! I started a class a couple weeks ago..visited it 3 times and whalllaaa...after dusting off the sewing machine, learning how to re-hand sew and machine sew I have Truths Christmas gift! I ahve that just accomplished something feeling..and love it. You know the one when you have truly been tried at something, stuck with it, and in the end feel empowered...hey might even want to do that again kind of feeling..so let the business begin!! Anyone in need of a doll..the cost is high but you will be satisfied!!!! Hooray.......

my little people

So here is one of those mumbo jumbo blogs with absolutely no point! Just the filler after a busy last couple days. Cedar is a "big" kid now after hopping into Benjamin's car and heading to the Denver Museum for a special exhibit on Dinosaurs and an IMAX..all without me:( Actually it was really fun to see the excitement on his face knowing he was headed with his best friend on an adventure while Orien stayed home to get better from some yucky cold bug. And 8 hours later when i picked him p Benjamin Cedar we still plotting on how they could end up at Ben's house for dinner!!! (wasn't missed on bit)

I myself have embarked on a Waldorf doll making class. It has had its ups and downs and now I know why I want a thimble soon!! I am sooo close and will obviously post photos of Truth Christmas surprise when it isn't naked and without hair!!

We also started Forest School this past week. There are are group of moms joining together to starts a wilderness school if you will. Each Monday we will wander out to our place ,we call it our magical place in the forest, to create a rhythm centered around community ties and experiential leadership from the kids. It was great. We found our magical place and I heard Cedar act more like a leader then ever before...I love seeing him so comfortable in his surroundings..yelling"lets get to work" as they found large dead trees that will soon make up our shelter!! So well keep you all posted as to what comes of this. we hope to create some rituals around campfire cooking, gathering water, Waldorf emphasis story telling and what ever else the kiddos find important..keeping it simple and natural and braving whatever weather element comes our way!

Jody is preparing for the Big Thanksgiving feast..going for a southern twist. Homemade Hush puppies, fried catfish, mac-n-cheese,smoked salmon, salad, rolls, and white chocolate raspberry bread pudding..YUMMY I cant wait,,,The Trumbowers will join us for our 4th year of feasting and kid playing!!

Happy Thanksgiving to all...I am so thankful for family, friends, Organic food, smiles, tears and everything in between!

She Eats...need I say more

wind so strong

It must be the wind that keeps us alive. I live in the mountains. The mountains of wind up here. The stirring wind. The wind howls, shaking our house to such a strength I visualize everything going. And that is where this energy comes from. Not to mention the full moon that glows through my closed blinds onto her face. She lays there so happy, full grin, cooing, I shouldn't but I do. I look at the clock and realize it is 2am. I try to deny her, try to roll away from her but in the end she ALWAYS wins. Her body scooches over closer, she snuggles in tight and feeds once more. The wind is howling, shaking the house. We all like to complain about it but we all stay. The kids today are jumping our of there skin with an energy they can't contain or explain. The wind howls and keeps everything constantly shifting as to say try to keep still. try to keep constant with out change. The wind will win. It is winter again. The calm summer of heat, adventure, long days and nights is over. It is dark now. or almost always. The darkness and wind are back for months to follow. The decision to fly with the wind or hold on tight to a fight I cant win. So I will go. to listen to the wind and follow in its many directions. It must be the wind that keeps us alive.

From start to well almost finished

the bathroom before

getting started

where we are at today

For the last month we have been consumed with a gutted bathroom remodel! My contractor Jody-Taj...he now has 2 full time jobs as do I..or should I say we have 3. Sbux, family, bathroom. We decided it was time to join the norm andactually have a bathtub in the house...and that is where it started...and now about a month later we are close..close to sayed WE QUIT as it has taken a toll and all of our free time! Yes well worth it but when we now speak of a kitchen remodel i cringe....not sure I could take the month loooong endeavour on that one..but here it is a few photos of the progress thus far.

There isn'tmuch more to be Said

I awake to a new future for my family, friends, community, state, country, WORLD...We have united, we have brought true Hope back into the eyes of all...And in the End we have made HISTORY....Peace and Joy fills my every bone...Barack Obama is our President....We are an amazing counrty of folk.

Is there is thing as too much candy??

Cedar leaving the scary ambulance!!

Our sleepy turtle

A happy Fairy

Knights defending...Jackson and Cedar

Irrestible Turtle!!!!

One Hapy Sprite after Trick-orTreating

Our King!!!

Our sweet fairy and Knigt ready for Lyons

so here I am writing on the past..The week loooong extravaganza trick or treating marathon if you will! Yes it all started 1 week early out in Lyon, Colorado. We packed up the kids and headed for the cutest kid parade..really it is just a sworm if kids and parents who walk 1 block down main street showing off there costumes...to end with trick-or-treating on Main Street. BIG MISTAKE we allowed Cedar to hold is bag of goodies on the way home..which meant a long night as Cedar kept himself wake until 4AM doing puzzles, reading, dumping his room..(never again)!! Ad then again on Friday we hit the streets of Estes Park where we enjoyed the company of Courtney,dan and Mason along with of course none other then Benjamin and Annalise!!! The kids ran for candy, Orien a bit nervous of the "scary" people..and ended the night with great sugar buzzes eating Pizza!!! So here we are the King, Queen, Knight, Fairy and Turtle!!!!!!

And then you die

My mind has been racing with all those questions we have all pondered, discussed, re-discussed, and re-thought about. I wake up with my family here, the kids running around a hotel room playing with Mimi and Grandpa Rick..grabbed the best breakfast at Meadow Mountain Cafe, said goodbye yet again and listened to the sobs of Cedar the entire drive home saying I love mimi and grandpa..As usual i needed my Internet fix, my escape from reality..but this time all that came was a major reality check..as I read the random comments on face book, yes face book (no laughing) I came across an old high school friends comment that her good friend, a friend/acquaintance of mine from my high school running days had died.

I was stopped dead in my tracks. I knew of this women fighting cancer only months earlier,and haven't probably chatted since we left the high school days but there it was a memorial for a women only of the age of 29...she has been present in my thoughts lately, filing them actually..with the whys, hows, what ifs of life..and then it was there...in fact the moment i found out of her death was the moment her memorial service was starting in MN.

I still haven't been able to wrap myself around this idea. the idea that she was here living, laughing, loving, marrying, feeling pain,and now dead. How does it feel at that very moment? Does our body produce some amazing hormone that just lets it all go? It there a feeling of euphoria? Do you just know when to say goodbye? Does your new life begin in an instant?does the pain really end? I HOPE SO..

I remember the first time I held true fear and then was able to let it go..I have always been nervous of flying and then there we were in a little 4 seater plane flying in Alaska. Jody, Cedar the pilot and myself. I felt sick, out of control, and then it all changed this feeling of calmness,as if there was a pause in life above the water mountains and i wasn't afraid..in fact thought I could die and all would be ever so calm..would it have been who knows...Is that how it feels..because as i wrote this I feel pain for this women, pain for her family and a numbness that can be described. You are here and then you die......

Eamonn Team!

This I Believe

driving home from a nice run at the gym
NPR on in the background..while my mind did the usual racing of "to do's"
no kids in the car so I can actually hear and really hear the radio
the broadcast of This I believe starts..
my hair on my arm begins to lift up and my eyes soften ready for tears
A man with a calm,soothing voice begins to tell his story
an early birth of there first, emergency C to save the mother/wife having major complications
he talks so full of Love as if every bone in his body stands full of compassion...
empathy fills my mind
the baby born..first able to hold him, then only rubbing his delicate hands through an incubator, then no touch, eventually death
too young for his delicate lungs to stay alive
and yet this man seems to calm scribing the last hours with his son how thankful that he spent everyone minute of his sons life with him
the strength of so many people....ad he says what i need to hear
like a church bell at noon so loud you cant miss it
Love every minute of your children's existence..seems so easy yet taken for granted

then I surround myself in a new group that same day talking about C0-op education-homeschooling
with the same final tone...they are so little for such a short time..seems i am in a beautiful space,
this is when I know that there just are some days where every moment happens for a reason
that feeling of coming up for fresh air and filling my lungs with newness and simplicity that, and reminders... love and happiness are truly all we need and need to give...

That is my girl

Yeah at 4.5 months Truth is becoming her own little self...planning her times to be awake and asleep..of course she prefers to chat away the afternoons while the boys nap (smart to get in her own time with mommy, bummer for mommy to not have alone time!)...she is a chatter bug..making her fun sounds and silly spitting noises! So I am off to hear her chatter and smile away.

somewhere inbetween

I am somewhere in between..and so is my family in so many ways
in between hot 80 egree days and Fall 35 degree nights
live green leaves and falling yeallow leaves
1 coat of new paint on and one more to do
morning and evening
baby cries and baby smiles
long curly hair and short flat hair
seasons that bring life and seasons that bring death
half full and half empty bottles of wine
shorts and sweaters
running and walking!!(just started back 2 days ago)
the rich and the poor
loving school and missing mommy
loving school days and missing the kiddos
homeschool and school
bush and hopefully obama soon

ahh i do so love the autumn..the changes happening everday bring joy. Listening to Cedar get excited about the leaves changing, and Orien in echo!It is fun to watch Truth born in the spring now changing in the fall, making her new giggles, her smiles of love as we walk in a room, sitting in her bumbo chair. cheers to the fall

Buzz Buzz

With a tear in my eye, Cedar sat with the biggest grin, as daddy took the trimmers to his hair! Yes the curly, slightly out of control hair is no more..after 4 years of bed head dreadys, curls like you wont believe Cedar decided to go for the daddy hair cut..and well with some resistance Orien got a timming himself...he sat with tears at first but by the end was excited as well says he likes his hair cut! So on one hand i look with envy as a shaved head feels so smooth..and looks great as i hang with poundage of dreadys..but..am not ready to cut away just yet!!!! (if ever)so cheers to a new look for the eamonn boys! much like the look Truth is going for as well as she balds out in the back!

nearly 4 months old!

here you have it little Truth! She is full of life. She loves to have an excuse to smile and enjoys her waking moments with Orien in the morning! She is starting to chat it up in baby language..loves her fingers (like Orien), is a mellow loving little girl. notice her red hair showing up...boy am i introuble a taurus red head little girl!!!