wonderings

I keep wondering how to fill in the gaps. To write the did's and didn't of our daily lives...to blog daily, weekly...to try to capture the families every move, breath, or to take a deep breath and catch the moments that are like Fire...Like the little voice in the room right now " humming, singing about where to jump.....saying Mama....I can do it" these are the moments that keep me breathing in that rhythmic, crazy, breath of life.

I could say another week has passed. I could talk about the "contest for the Crown....." story that Cedar and I enjoyed drawing, chatting, playing with all week, how he grasped so smoothly the concept of greater/less than...
 I could tell of the cold that caught Cedar by surprise and held him to sleep during a rest time( which is all too rare). ..Or how Orien eats up the cheerleader pieces of life....who needs endless encouragement, a strong voice that leads and then he BLOOMS..like today when he ice skated all by himself with a smile I couldn't capture.,but can see right now when I envision him on the smooth ice. Or the endless "is cedar going to do that? Is cedar wearing that? Is Cedar ???" that is true love. To follow one like he can never do wrong,,,how does that feel????

I could try to grab the silly Mama in Truthy who dresses, undresses, giggles, talks to, feeds, bottle fills, her babies every move. She sleeps like she is a mother of a new born....rarely! She chatters, insists on being heard, wants to be a BIG sister, but in the end still cuddles up with her bottle of milk and her Mama.

 Or the sadness that fills my heart when a friend travels a far leaving an empty place in my son and our families heart,  knowing that all return at the right time, the ribbon Cedar earned at his last climbing class adding "right Mom it doesn't matter how many points you get it's just for fun".....or the time this week Cedar insisted on buying and wrapping a buddies Christmas gift, and the joy when he watched him open it!!!!!  The grin he gave and received from a friend during his music recital that said love so simply.... or the goal from across the indoor gym at the last soccer game of the season.  Oriens words after a family art project, " Cedar you did a good job," How I joined cross fit, how Jody finished the insulation in the mudroom....

And so I still hope to share more often...but if I can't I am ever so thankful to live this life daily.