patience

So hear you have it..with 8 weeks, 3 days and a handful of hours before the little baby "fill in the blank" we cant agree on a name!!....BUT it my mind it is 10,000 days away..and so I am being forced to practice patience. Something I need to be forced into daily. And am with the help of my kiddos !!! What to do..I don't remember this from the other pregnancy's! A sign that this truly is my last pregnancy!! I dream of my road bike, being out on along canyon ride...if you could see it now under the dust in the bedroom, dream of running a race,,hahaha but the idea sounds too good to be true! Dream of a great BBQ with non-other then margaritas!I dream of my swimsuit that doesn't make me look like some lady in a dress style suit!!! My corduroys and tank tops where food doesn't sit on my belly!! I hope all this dreaming get me to that day in May! So until then I will dream of that little someone inside swimming in the warm waters I provide...nourished by the yummy dinners Jody cooks and the desserts that make it all worth the wait!! dreaming away the days!!!!!

9 new mouths to feed

The Chicks make it home, and the boys are excited to hold them!! we have 3 different breeds...all between 1 and 2 weeks old!











Cedar loves his chicks! orien isnt' quite ready to hold them, but I do hear him talking to them lots!!!!





9 little chicks











Here they are the newest additions to the family!! We have been talking about chickens for years..quite possibly since Jody and I meet 8 years ago..so now was the time. Springtime and lots of chicks to play with! We have made them a comfortable brooder that they stay in right now, in the house of course. We dont want them to get tooo chilly at night. They are sweet, little peepers who snooze, eat, and peep some more. The boys love to go and chat with them and Cedar is a great helper, feeding them, holding them, and checking on them all day!! Hopefully these fast growing chickens will be great egg layers!! Though we have lots of time before that happens...have to start converting the shed into the coop....they wil be ready in about 4-5 weeks to head outside. well keep the blog posted on there development and now we need lots of names..any ideas!!!!

Spring time in the Mountains!

Cedar cruising on his bike in Estes Park




Orien at the Egg Hunt!!




Cedar at the Egg Hunt!!












Silly Orien loving his nights in PJS!!!












Cedar with his Beautiful basket he made at school

The boys at the Egg HuntOh, Spring time is truly here..from 70 degree biking days in Boulder, to endless time in the Sandbox. The sun is shining..longer for that matter and we are all in love with the weather and in it till dark. The boys are growing fast. Cedar is practicing his biking skills daily on the paths in Estes, loving school, digging all the dirt he can find in the yard and begging to be outside all day!! No need for naps as well :( Orien is getting big, (almost the big 2), can now jump up and down with 2 feet (quite proud of that one), sings, talks in full sentences, and loves his BIG brother! We already had our Easter egg hunt as you can see. The best part the CANDY! Had to stop Orien from eating the wrappers with the chocolate!! were off for a walk in the mountains.

10.5 weeks to go!!!

the shirt I wear as often as possible......

Alrighty, here it is the belly! Not the best of shots but believe me you cant miss it!! We are officially into our 3rd trimester and the count down is on!!! This babe is a mover, kicker, dancer, simply one heck of an active little thing!!! I am feeling great, a bit on the self conscious side..waiting for the comments to come in the weeks to come...."are you due any minute?" No, weeks... AHHHHH!! My favorite from Oriens pregnancy "your belly should be in the genius book of world records" to which my reply was "you could get your a.. kicked if you said that to a different pregnant women!!" So here we go...spring is on its way and so is this little babe! The kiddos are excited to talk about the baby, but am thinking Orien will have other thoughts when it truly arrives. He still wont walk down the stairs w/o me caring him...wants me to hold him plenty...and is a true mama's boy! Cedar is excited to hold the babe, but wonders why babies cry so much!!!!!!! If only now we could agree on a name! Any great ideas!! off to relax, eat cookies and down more milk..my new favorite food!!

Lessons still unlearned

There are times I feel like a preschooler.

Still quite foreign to this whole human role, especially the mommy role. I think of Cedar and Orien often and have to remember that they are truly figuring out how to be human...how to be a person, respond with emotions that are "acceptable,"sadly hiding many as they age, and finds that we surly aren't allowed the freedom of 3 yr old tantrums much past 3. Why not I ask myself from time to time as I know Cedar must think tantrums are normal watching his mommy freak out about something unimportant but in the moment the only reality in sight.

He has to find where being patient can help. The idea that everything isn't going to come with
instant gratification. Again I understand that to him time is "now" and only now. Something I as an adult would like to be able to go back to. That the only thing important is "now" and that all other lists, people, plans can wait because truly living in the now would make so much more since. But the human way is full of focusing on the future or past. We must be crazy to spend all of our time waiting for the tomorrows or focusing on the yesterdays. To Cedar there is the now, the nap times, and the after nap time nows!!! No such thing as days and hours, who needs them!

Another learning... why we chat with total strangers. The how to smile at the stranger that we pass, because who really want to see anyone in any emotional state except the happy....for instance today as I got out of my car and a man kindly walked by and said hello I did as I should and said "hello" back. To Cedars response, "why did that man say hello? Does he love you??" Funny I thought but now realize another learning to him. Strangers are people who can be kind and they don't have to know you at all to chat with you!

It seems as these leanings are simple...but as a trained "human" that is where I too feel like a 3 yr old. I look at my children and truly only want the best for them. I want to be ever so patient, never raising my voice, never doing all this things I said I would never to when I was a parent...oh the list endless...and now seeing that many things on the list I have said or done. At times a total failure to the only job I have...a parent. How can I ever be annoyed with another "why" question on the ride home? How can I watch the clock as if my "job" has clock in and clock out hours...and I can wait for my time? Why do I love to outdoor play, but again want to do things around the house or make that not important phone call instead?

I guess because these are lessons still unlearned. And so I am glad to have more chances...glad to be able to wake up every morning and make the conscious decision to be the human I want shadowed by my innocent boys. cause boy are they shadows of all that we do and say....and to have someone with unconditional love thinking that they way we do it is best is a lot of pressure but oh so worth it!

So i leave the computer to be in the "now." There are dump trucks to be be played with, books to be read, food to be cooked....and endless moments to learn and teach to be human in this foreign place!

kitchen man!

chocolate cake, pancakes, biscuits and eggs, baked ziti, pasta, fish...anything that can be baked or cooked..Cedar is your man! Cedar is truly in love with the kitchen..not to mention the time he attempted to make Orien a veggie burger on a burner (no pan needed) (while mommy was upstairs and smelt something) a little fire but was was fine!!! It has been fun watching Cedar and Daddy in the kitchen...he leaves almost no room and insists that any job is for him!! Here are some pics of him making, baking and eating the latest homemade chocolate cake....YUMMY!!!!

Happy Birthday Jody!!

Yes, I know I am late...but with good excuse we were all on a vacation in North Carolina visiting the family! So the BIG 30 has come and gone...but with plenty of celebration!! From the mega boat of sushi, to the wonderful cake, we celebrated! Our trip was a fun and busy one filled with time to feed the pigs on the farm near Mimis and Grandpas house, to park play, storytimes, cooking help from Cedar, visiting Auntie B and Uncle Jeff...the boys had a blast..and came back exhausted!! We even snuck aways from time to time without the kiddos and saw Taj Mahal and a wonderful bluegrass group the Carolina Chocolat Drops..check them out on myspace a great group!! Here are a few photos of the trip....

And now we are back home..funny how nice home can feel....The boys have refound all of there toys, have played outside for hours in the sandbox....and are getting back int the groove hopefully off to do some skiing and snow play before it all melts away in the mountains!!