heartaches

The reality is it doesn't make sense. These are the moments where it all falls apart. The grey day. The cold rain. It's funny I can over analyze life away and get nowhere. And then realize all is well....today I  am a spoiled  mother.

 I, the social network person I am, can't help but hear about a gazillion peoples day, lives, work habits, kids stories, the things that make us tick. Then I come across it..and it freezes me, drop tears I can't control...a mothers loss. I sit in silence. I read and listen to the songs posted about a mother, and her new born son, who didn't survive what seems all too normal the first weeks of life Instead fought to stay alive, wrapped in cords and wires. I don't want to know how that feels because I am shocked by the depth of instant depression I feel for her, a stranger, a friend of a friend, a mother. I sit with this all day. The rain falls harder, the sun never shines today. I hold strong this moment and pray that strength and love can really truly help in this darkness. And in the end it just doesn't make sense. It never will.....I kiss my kids and go to bed with a deep sadness for a mothers loss.