Lost

I have this feeling of being lost. After such rushing feelings of intense love with new babes, my babes, etc..We started a new week. It seems the off rhythm of holidays, play, daddy home, me working.... had been all that much fun but in the same that intense for 3 kiddos. How many times do we have to over do excitement to realize rhythm is essential. Does the sun take a break, does the moon rise in the morning? We would think that absurd but playing all day, never resting, why do we keep doing this??

And so Monday came and went....we started over...we found our rhythm,,walking, singing, playing, cleaning, resting, dancing and so one. BUT it still doesn't feel right. I am lost. Lost at home to continually notice all the signs from Cedar saying "this isn't right.." play with me more" I think I still believe that I am mixing structure with rhythm and thinking that he needs structure..BUT am wrong. And so I am discouraged, lost, and again starting over. But in some way feel a sense of relief. Letting go again to allow my little people to guide me in the direction that flows from the heart...(if I can keep my heart leading and not my impatience)

And so Tuesday we did it differently, We walked but also did a craft in the morning....and Jody and I are analyzing this daily. How to focus on our family. Jody surprised us today with a home made advent calender. Each day we open a new "to do as a family " activity! I love this. Our family is first. We wrote letters to Santa and I could see the magic as the boys went to bed wondering all the possibilities that lie ahead over the next 25 days...and am thinking maybe we need to keep this up from month to month.

So as lost as I am there must be a....light

cheers to more family and less....craziness